Not to pat myself on my back, but I hold myself up to such a high standard that when people don't follow suit and strive for the same standard, I'm awfully hurt ... disappointed ... jaded ... eventually distrustful.
So it was when it came to my attention that someone I trusted ... someone I was sure wouldn't ever be vengeful or hateful because that person called themselves a Christian ... I found out that person has thrown myself and people I respect under the bus, not once, but numerous times. The reason? To make themselves look good ... so they can shine ... can rise to the top. How has it happened? Continual lying and cheating.
Hmmm ... enter VENGEFUL BITCHY MEGAN.
I was ready to get even, and the ugly, mean things I was plotting ... well, I'm not proud of myself.
Yesterday, I sat in church and listened to my pastor preach on IDENTITY CRISIS, a convicting sermon series to say the least. This truth kept coming to the surface:
"If you connect your identity to Christ ... if you find your worth in Christ, there isn't any room for hostility."
Ephesians 2:13-21 ...
"13 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ. 14 For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, 15 by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, 16 and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. 17 He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. 18 For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.
19 Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. 21 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. 22 And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.'
So, ummmm ... yeah. I'm not getting ghetto. I'm not searching for vengeance. Rather, I'm clinging to the God that loves me despite my horrible lack of decorum where dealing with people are concerned, and I'm praying for compassion and a forgiveness.