You might know that I have had a struggle with my weight ... and the fact that I have a lot of it ... weight, that is ... packed not so conspicuously on my body.
Perhaps you didn't know this, though.
Perhaps you were blissfully unaware because I don't like to actually point out the fact that I have difficulty keeping my mouth shut when it comes to food. More specifically, I can most certainly keep my mouth shut when it comes to good stuff like veggies and fruit. Where the difficulty comes into play is when I am face to face with refined sugars covered in fluffy frosting and sprinkles on top.
When things are stressful ...
When I feel I can't deal ...
When I'm lonely ...
When things don't go my way ...
When the planets are out of alignment ...
When it's a pink sock day in a world of green sock days ...
You name it; I eat.
Perhaps you were aware though ... I mean, it's sort of hard to miss. Things on my body are LARGE.
It became apparent, as parts of my body refused to work under the strain -- oh you know the parts ... knees, feet, backs ... all the important stuff -- that I had to do something to get all this weight off.
I began Weight Watchers, which, again, I don't like to admit, and I began exercising ... a lot ... and for someone who always said she hated sweating (could I come up with a more lame excuse, really???), this was practically unheard of ... really.
But I did! Eating healthier and walking 3 miles every single day, and by September, I had come the closest I had ever come to dropping a significant amount of weight ... within 20 lbs! I was over the moon excited!
I could fit into a size smaller.
People were starting to notice.
It was a wonderful feeling.
And then the holidays hit ...
And some of those old wounds were laid bare ...
And this little thing called "women" and "their forties" hit, and within a few months, I'd gained 7 pounds back.
Yes, I realize, in the whole grand scheme of things, 7 pounds isn't a lot, but it is when you are looking at TONS more to lose still.
I was angry and mad at myself and generally feeling just beyond discouraged, and I started reading this blog. What an inspiration, this girl is, and suddenly, I realized that I can do this. I HAVE been doing this. Since last January, I've been doing this.
Sometimes, committing to something means that you have to put in 110%
Sometimes, committing to something means that you can't give up even when everyone and everything around you points to that as your only option.
Sometimes, committing to something means that you just dig your heels in and do it. JUST. DO. IT ... like Nike always said.
Sometimes, committing to something means that you might end up being committed yourself ... to an asylum ... for the weary and insane, but I suppose we can just call that a vacation, if and when that need ever rises.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I will finally, publicly admitting what everyone around me has seen for a while ... I am in the need of losing weight, and not because I am trying to be the next Runway Model or because I am trying to snag some Dr. McDreamy (although, let's be honest here, that would definitely be a perk!). I am doing this because my body was designed to function in a healthy manner within a healthy weight and with healthy fuels, in the form of healthy foods, powering it. I am doing this because I teach 4th grade girls ... little girls who are entirely too concerned with body image at 9 and 10 years old, and I want them to be surrounded with healthy role models. I need to be a healthy role model in their lives. I am doing this because life is lived so much more fully when you can fully embrace it.
And so I am committing. I am in. I am all the way in.