Tuesday, March 05, 2013

TMJ, Styes, Tornado Drills, and Leaky Sinks

Today, I am going for my final fitting of my newest TMJ bite plate. 

Yeah, most girls of a certain age are getting fitted for a lovely, flowy, white gown so they might marry their Prince Charming.

Me?  I'm getting a bite plate, because I have Temporomandibular Joint Disorder.  Allow me to be your cautionary tale, kids.  While I was never, ever allowed to chew gum that wasn't sugar free, I was allowed to chew gum.  And as long as I could afford to purchase it (through allowances and birthday money), then I could chew as much of it as I wanted. 

And I did.

All through grade school.

And high school ... oh Lord, have mercy, ALL. THROUGH. HIGH. SCHOOL.

Then I hit college.  And I was still chewing gum.  But then I was introduced to stress.  At the ripe old age of 20, I had the jaw of an 80 year old.

I suppose it is never good when your dentist asks you to open your mouth, and your jaw pops so badly that he actually cringes.  Yeah, poor Dr. Renshaw, I just make him cringe ever single time I open my mouth, and he always looks at his hygienist and says, "Oh my!  Did you just hear that?"

And I'm thinking to myself, "Who didn't hear it?"  That's what I want to know.

So, today, I am going to get that fitting. 

The stye is still there ... mocking me ... daring me to do something to make it go away. 

I'm told I shouldn't wear makeup, but let's be honest here, people.  Me without makeup is just plain scary.  It is.  Not lying about it.  So, I wear makeup ... and I will probably infect the other eye, and then that stupid stye will have the last word.

We have a tornado drill today.  Since this is part of tornado alley and all, I suppose it's a practical drill to do. 

Remind me again ... why did I, the tornado-phobe, decided it would be a good idea to move to a state that has them ... ALL. THE. TIME.? 

Oh, that's right.  A job.  Yep.  That was it.

My kitchen sink is leaky again.  I just changed a something-or-another in that dang-blasted sink last year!  It must be protesting.  It's worked hard for all these past 12 months.  It's done.  It doesn't want me to run it any longer.

I mean the excitement of my life, folks.  It's a wonder I have any time to ponder life with all this excitement.


1 comment:

Mom said...

You failed to mention that your mother warned you about all that gum chewing and she refused to buy you any gum when you asked her to do so. Her words were, you will hve the jaw of an 80 yeard old when you are only 25 !! I distinctly remember those words.