MY CASE AGAINST CHILDREN
Recently, there have been many people in my life concerned with my procreation plans ... or lack thereof. I've fielded numerous inquiries that typically go something like this: "So, do you think you will EVER have children?"
Apparently, they are hearing the same things I am, chiefly my eggs crying out desperately as they shrivel away to dust ... "Help me!" They cry. "Save us ... help us become what we were intended to become ...." Just whimpers these days, and I suspect, as the year goes along, they will become only faint, distant cries.
My answer, lately, has always been the same: "NOPE!"
Here is my top reason for not having them. I WILL SCREW THEM UP.
Seriously. Since my cat could care less about listening to a word I have to say, I know that I will be unable to raise a child that would come even close to being a functioning part of society. Sadly, any offspring I have will likely be a drain on society as the juvenile delinquent it will be ... I know my history. It's by the grace of God that I evened out my behavior and became "normal."
Today, however, I discovered another reason why children just shouldn't be an option for me. While taking my inaugural training walk for the 5k I'm preparing to walk in either May or June, I walked past a construction site where two boys were shooting a BB gun, probably shooting at birds ... but here's the kicker, they were shooting this gun in a highly populated neighborhood with houses practically on top of each other.
See, my father would NEVER have stood for that. Beside the fact that they were maiming and killing innocent animals, he would have blown his lid over the fact that we were carelessly shooting off a gun in an area where other people were ... and their cars ... and their houses ... all with windows ... and other stuff that can be broken and ruined.
Oh he would have worn my butt out on that one for sure! So, I don't children, because they have to learn to live in a world with jokers like these two BB gun wielding idiots, and I'm not sure my influence will be stronger than theirs. Since I can't make them live in a bubble, I've got deal with other people's moronic off-spring.
I swear, people should have a license to bring forth their seed I mean you have to have license to drive a car ... catch fish ... hunt deer ... own a pet, which brings me to my last point. I'm not sure I could pass my own licensing process ...
Apparently, they are hearing the same things I am, chiefly my eggs crying out desperately as they shrivel away to dust ... "Help me!" They cry. "Save us ... help us become what we were intended to become ...." Just whimpers these days, and I suspect, as the year goes along, they will become only faint, distant cries.
My answer, lately, has always been the same: "NOPE!"
Here is my top reason for not having them. I WILL SCREW THEM UP.
Seriously. Since my cat could care less about listening to a word I have to say, I know that I will be unable to raise a child that would come even close to being a functioning part of society. Sadly, any offspring I have will likely be a drain on society as the juvenile delinquent it will be ... I know my history. It's by the grace of God that I evened out my behavior and became "normal."
Today, however, I discovered another reason why children just shouldn't be an option for me. While taking my inaugural training walk for the 5k I'm preparing to walk in either May or June, I walked past a construction site where two boys were shooting a BB gun, probably shooting at birds ... but here's the kicker, they were shooting this gun in a highly populated neighborhood with houses practically on top of each other.
See, my father would NEVER have stood for that. Beside the fact that they were maiming and killing innocent animals, he would have blown his lid over the fact that we were carelessly shooting off a gun in an area where other people were ... and their cars ... and their houses ... all with windows ... and other stuff that can be broken and ruined.
Oh he would have worn my butt out on that one for sure! So, I don't children, because they have to learn to live in a world with jokers like these two BB gun wielding idiots, and I'm not sure my influence will be stronger than theirs. Since I can't make them live in a bubble, I've got deal with other people's moronic off-spring.
I swear, people should have a license to bring forth their seed I mean you have to have license to drive a car ... catch fish ... hunt deer ... own a pet, which brings me to my last point. I'm not sure I could pass my own licensing process ...
Comments