THE ANIMAL KINGDOM IS ANNOYING ME TODAY
It's been a long night ... I woke up to a sunny morning, absolutely EXHAUSTED. My cat and my dog, however, were looking at me, fresh-faced. Makes me mad. Here's what happened:
Wednesday, 11:15 p.m. ... tornado warning finally expires. Bad weather has passed by. Feel it's safe to finally go to bed.
Wednesday, 11:30 p.m. ... cursing my decision to have a cup of coffee AND a big bottle of Pepsi in attempt to get rid of a BAAAD headache via caffeine.
Wednesday, 11:45 p.m. ... Maddie the cat, who, up to this point, had been sitting in the bedrooom window watching the "nightlife," takes a flying leap and lands on my bed like a sack of potatoes! The nice drift I was finally beginning to feel is lost as my cat tromps across my chest. I groan loudly while Sadie the dog snores.
Thursday, 12:32 a.m. ... am startled awake by yet another cat fight in my neighbor's backyard. Maddie the cat flies off my bed to see what she can do to "help." Mumble, "I swear to you, cat, you land in a heap on my bed again, I'm going to drop kick you across my room!" Maddie sniffs, knowing I'm too weak to attempt the drop kick.
Thursday, 2:00 a.m. ... am startled awake by the sound of a baby crying LOUDLY. Disregarding the urban legend that men will tape record the crying of a baby, set it on the porch, and wait for you to open the door and then attack you, I open my front door to see what the problem is. No baby. Just two STUPID cats sitting out in the middle of the street making some gosh awful horrible noise and sitting in a Mexican Stand-off of sorts. I curse them as I slam my front door closed. Maddie the cat rushes past me in the hallway to see how she can "help."
Thursday, 5:45 a.m. ... Maddie pounces on the bed, finally ready to go to sleep. I groan loudly. Sadie the dog takes that as a sign that she can start begging to go potty. "I hate both of you..." I moan as I stumble out of bed.
Thursday, 6:00 a.m. ... Just nicely get settled into bed and hear Sadie the dog scratching to get in. Maddie the cat is purring softly on the bed. "I really hate you ... " I say to her.
Tursday, 6:25 a.m. ... after a belly full of food, Sadie stands at theside of the bed begging to be pick up and put in it. "You two are killing me!" I hiss. Maddie the cat is still purring self-righteously.
Thursday, 6:37 a.m. ... "Oh screw it!" I shout. "I'm wide awake. Might as well get up and get coffee." Stupid animals stay in their furry balls on the bed. "You two make me sick!" I shout as I head to the kitchen.
Wednesday, 11:15 p.m. ... tornado warning finally expires. Bad weather has passed by. Feel it's safe to finally go to bed.
Wednesday, 11:30 p.m. ... cursing my decision to have a cup of coffee AND a big bottle of Pepsi in attempt to get rid of a BAAAD headache via caffeine.
Wednesday, 11:45 p.m. ... Maddie the cat, who, up to this point, had been sitting in the bedrooom window watching the "nightlife," takes a flying leap and lands on my bed like a sack of potatoes! The nice drift I was finally beginning to feel is lost as my cat tromps across my chest. I groan loudly while Sadie the dog snores.
Thursday, 12:32 a.m. ... am startled awake by yet another cat fight in my neighbor's backyard. Maddie the cat flies off my bed to see what she can do to "help." Mumble, "I swear to you, cat, you land in a heap on my bed again, I'm going to drop kick you across my room!" Maddie sniffs, knowing I'm too weak to attempt the drop kick.
Thursday, 2:00 a.m. ... am startled awake by the sound of a baby crying LOUDLY. Disregarding the urban legend that men will tape record the crying of a baby, set it on the porch, and wait for you to open the door and then attack you, I open my front door to see what the problem is. No baby. Just two STUPID cats sitting out in the middle of the street making some gosh awful horrible noise and sitting in a Mexican Stand-off of sorts. I curse them as I slam my front door closed. Maddie the cat rushes past me in the hallway to see how she can "help."
Thursday, 5:45 a.m. ... Maddie pounces on the bed, finally ready to go to sleep. I groan loudly. Sadie the dog takes that as a sign that she can start begging to go potty. "I hate both of you..." I moan as I stumble out of bed.
Thursday, 6:00 a.m. ... Just nicely get settled into bed and hear Sadie the dog scratching to get in. Maddie the cat is purring softly on the bed. "I really hate you ... " I say to her.
Tursday, 6:25 a.m. ... after a belly full of food, Sadie stands at theside of the bed begging to be pick up and put in it. "You two are killing me!" I hiss. Maddie the cat is still purring self-righteously.
Thursday, 6:37 a.m. ... "Oh screw it!" I shout. "I'm wide awake. Might as well get up and get coffee." Stupid animals stay in their furry balls on the bed. "You two make me sick!" I shout as I head to the kitchen.
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