RETROSPECTIVE LEAF TURNING
I sit here today in a retrospective mood. Now, wait! Before you start rolling your eyes, and mumbling "Oh brother" under your breath, this is a good thing, really!
See, Friday marked the end of something in my life ... the end of an incredible experience teaching. Something that, up to this point, I'd not really had. Don't get me wrong. I've had some wonderful experiences as a teacher, but this one at Wattles Park Elementary was incredible!
Friday also marked the beginning of something ... the beginning of a life filled with what ifs and may be nots and why nots and perhaps maybes all over again. These types of things always send me into an emotional tail-spin the likes of which are devastating for me as well as those that happen to wander aimlessly into a 50-mile radius of me. Usually, the safest thing to do is put up orange cones all around my life and speed out of the way ... FAST!
As I walked to my truck (which I now own, by the way ... well, after about 48 payments!) on Friday, I determined, with each flip-flopped step, that I was not going to let this get me this time. It did last year. Not this year!
I continued mulling over this new attitude over the weekend. Could it work? Would it work?
I've decided it can with a few items that I must embrace and own:
Item #1: I will now and forever more embrace my curves. I've got them ... bottom line. Do I need to shape up for my health? Yes. Should I be cognizant of the exercise I get and the food I eat? Yes! But I will no longer be defined solely by my body. I am who I am, and you either accept it, or you don't.
Item #2: I will no longer define myself merely by what I do for a living. This is a difficult one, because at our very core, teachers live, eat, and breathe their craft. However, when that craft is taken away from you by politicians trying to save money, what is left? I will tell you ... someone devastated by the loss and crippled by that devastation. I am so much more than just a teacher, noble a calling as it is.
Item #3: I will no longer seek my defining moments through others. Ah! Men! Gotta love em, but they are giant pimples on our collective butts when they are doing nothing more than playing with our emotions to fill their own egos. And ladies, let's face it, when we are at our most vulnerable and weakest moments, we seem to attract those gems! Okay, so at least I do! So, I resolve never to look for companionship in attempt to define who I am. NOPE! That Mr. Wonderful better pony up and realize I am a catch all on my own ... I'm not perfect. Who is? Certainly not him. If he seems perfect, back up three steps, ladies, and take a real hard look! There's usually something glaringly obvious, and I'm telling you, it saves a lot of heartache when you practice this backward examination early.
Item #4: Eye contact and shoulders back. I'm telling you, it's like the cure for cancer! People's responses are so much different! Now, this means the boobs are more "in your face," but you know what! So what! I've got them, and there are women out there that pay big money for what I have. So, I'm embracing those bad girls, too!
I am a writer ... a sister ... a daughter ... a child of God ... a teacher ... a curvy chic with a butt and some thighs to go with it ... a lover of life ... a thinker ... a ponderer ... a friend ... a secret admirer ... a questioner ... a philosopher ... a cook ... an obsessive dog owner ... an apathetic cat owner ... an animal lover ... a jaded political participant ... a college graduate ... a woman ...
I'm all these things and more. It makes me multi-faceted and many-layered. It makes me worthy ...
See, Friday marked the end of something in my life ... the end of an incredible experience teaching. Something that, up to this point, I'd not really had. Don't get me wrong. I've had some wonderful experiences as a teacher, but this one at Wattles Park Elementary was incredible!
Friday also marked the beginning of something ... the beginning of a life filled with what ifs and may be nots and why nots and perhaps maybes all over again. These types of things always send me into an emotional tail-spin the likes of which are devastating for me as well as those that happen to wander aimlessly into a 50-mile radius of me. Usually, the safest thing to do is put up orange cones all around my life and speed out of the way ... FAST!
As I walked to my truck (which I now own, by the way ... well, after about 48 payments!) on Friday, I determined, with each flip-flopped step, that I was not going to let this get me this time. It did last year. Not this year!
I continued mulling over this new attitude over the weekend. Could it work? Would it work?
I've decided it can with a few items that I must embrace and own:
Item #1: I will now and forever more embrace my curves. I've got them ... bottom line. Do I need to shape up for my health? Yes. Should I be cognizant of the exercise I get and the food I eat? Yes! But I will no longer be defined solely by my body. I am who I am, and you either accept it, or you don't.
Item #2: I will no longer define myself merely by what I do for a living. This is a difficult one, because at our very core, teachers live, eat, and breathe their craft. However, when that craft is taken away from you by politicians trying to save money, what is left? I will tell you ... someone devastated by the loss and crippled by that devastation. I am so much more than just a teacher, noble a calling as it is.
Item #3: I will no longer seek my defining moments through others. Ah! Men! Gotta love em, but they are giant pimples on our collective butts when they are doing nothing more than playing with our emotions to fill their own egos. And ladies, let's face it, when we are at our most vulnerable and weakest moments, we seem to attract those gems! Okay, so at least I do! So, I resolve never to look for companionship in attempt to define who I am. NOPE! That Mr. Wonderful better pony up and realize I am a catch all on my own ... I'm not perfect. Who is? Certainly not him. If he seems perfect, back up three steps, ladies, and take a real hard look! There's usually something glaringly obvious, and I'm telling you, it saves a lot of heartache when you practice this backward examination early.
Item #4: Eye contact and shoulders back. I'm telling you, it's like the cure for cancer! People's responses are so much different! Now, this means the boobs are more "in your face," but you know what! So what! I've got them, and there are women out there that pay big money for what I have. So, I'm embracing those bad girls, too!
I am a writer ... a sister ... a daughter ... a child of God ... a teacher ... a curvy chic with a butt and some thighs to go with it ... a lover of life ... a thinker ... a ponderer ... a friend ... a secret admirer ... a questioner ... a philosopher ... a cook ... an obsessive dog owner ... an apathetic cat owner ... an animal lover ... a jaded political participant ... a college graduate ... a woman ...
I'm all these things and more. It makes me multi-faceted and many-layered. It makes me worthy ...
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