ODE TO A LAWN MOWER

Many of you may know how much I absolutely despise mowing the lawn. If not, please let me go on record right now as saying that I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE MOWING THE LAWN.

Last night was a milestone for me. It was the last time, in what I hope will be a good long while, that I will need to mow the lawn. I guess there is an upside to moving into a 2 bedroom townhouse that resembles a dorm room.

It gave me a good send off, that stupid piece of metal did. First of all, I need to tell you that a mower smells disgust like dogs smell fear. So, when I approached it two days ago, it decided to flat out not work for me. Okay, fine! Be that way! I called in the big guns, aka, Dad, who in turned called in the bigger guns, aka, LAWN MOWER FIX IT GUY.

Apparently, the mower didn't like that strategy, so it decided that, after I mowed two strips in the lawn, it was just going to randomly shut off. So it was, mow two strips, die, curse the stupid thing, start it up again. Mow two strips, die, curse the stupid thing, start it up again. I think you see where this is heading. If not, let me paint a picture, me ... out in my backyard ... throwing a temper tantrum and smacking the top of it maniacally. Not pretty.

The lawn is done, and I've washed my hands of the sorry excuse for steel and metal and nuts and bolts. May it rot in the corner of the garage forever!

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