LAZY SUNDAY

Today, I'm a the laziest person living, and I can't figure out why I feel guilty about it.

Perhaps it stems from the deep-seated Baptist guilt that runs deep in my blood. If I'm not at church on Sunday, then some how, I've slipped from grace. Yet, I know that is just rubbish! God doesn't operate like that.

Truth be told, I needed this day. I've been running for more than a month. If not physically running, it's been a mental run. On top of which, this has been a emotionally rough year for me to date. Not a single person out there really truly understands the war that's raged within. Quite frankly, I'm weary. I've spent a good deal of brain power, not to mention physical gusto, to get down here and immerse myself in LIFE IN KENTUCKY and, well, to get back into the game of life. I think it's time for a break.

So I vegged. I watched insane amounts of inane TV, went to the library and got four books, and I started down the path of laziness. It felt good, but I still feel guilty. See, I'm fighting that old nagging ... that pull to be more than a drip in my puddle. I desparately want to be the ripple in the sea of humanity.

And I couldn't help but be bugged by this question ... last week, Pete Hise asked the congregation of Quest Community Church this question, "What is it that is keeping you from climbing that mountain with God unfetered/unhindered?"

I wanted to shout back, "Where do I begin?"

However, as the week hit the ground running, I couldn't help but feel preplexed by the whole question as I let it sort of roll around in my cluttered brain. Quite frankly, I think I've buried it so deeply, I'm not entirely sure that I know what exactly is keeping me from scaling the sides of the mountain ... and maybe this is my biggest issue. Maybe it's actually ME keeping me from making the progress I need to make.

I often ask myself, "Is this it? Is this what it all amounts to?" I'm not sure what I thought this life would look like, and maybe that's why I feel this stirring ... this urging ... this overwhelming, all encompassing blanket of anticipation ... as if something is just around the bend, and it's going to be cool, but I've got to wait it out. So, maybe that's why it feels so weird to be lazy ... to waste time. Perhaps it's because there's really so little time left ... a lifetime seems to go by in a blink of an eye ...

Just throwing that out there into the internet abyss ...

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