LANDING IN MICHIGAN
Well, I've landed in Michigan, no thanks to the State of Indiana.
Don't get me wrong. Nothing against you all living in Indiana, but seriously, your state is boring. B.O.R.I.N.G.
I knew I was in trouble when, after I'd crossed the Ohio River and the Indiana line, I said, out loud, to no one in particular, "I'm bored."
At that point, I'd been on the road 45 minutes. I had 5 hours and 15 minutes left to go. "Please, just shoot me now!"
Indiana is one giant corn field, and good grief, when you've seen one corn field, you've seen them all ... unless, of course, you've managed to get a corn field on the vertical face of a mountain. Then I'm all about seeing that business.
The highlight of my trip, ladies and gentlemen? The hand dryer in the ladies restroom at the Speedway in Auburn, Indiana. The same Speedway that every citizen in Indiana decided to stop at with me, I guess as a sort of welcoming committee ... except for the ding-bat at head of me that parked his truck at a diagonal, so the the other 15 million people trying to get into or out of the gas station couldn't it. He wasn't very welcoming -- I suggest he be let go of any further "welcoming" duties.
But I digress ... the hand dryer ... it's one of those new jet engines that blows the water, and first three layers of your skin off of your hands in under a minute. It actually pushed the skin around on my hands showing the outlines of veins and bone! The poor lady waiting for me to exit the restroom, just about wet herself, I'm afraid, while I stood in there and played.
That's just how exciting that drive was!
Don't get me wrong. Nothing against you all living in Indiana, but seriously, your state is boring. B.O.R.I.N.G.
I knew I was in trouble when, after I'd crossed the Ohio River and the Indiana line, I said, out loud, to no one in particular, "I'm bored."
At that point, I'd been on the road 45 minutes. I had 5 hours and 15 minutes left to go. "Please, just shoot me now!"
Indiana is one giant corn field, and good grief, when you've seen one corn field, you've seen them all ... unless, of course, you've managed to get a corn field on the vertical face of a mountain. Then I'm all about seeing that business.
The highlight of my trip, ladies and gentlemen? The hand dryer in the ladies restroom at the Speedway in Auburn, Indiana. The same Speedway that every citizen in Indiana decided to stop at with me, I guess as a sort of welcoming committee ... except for the ding-bat at head of me that parked his truck at a diagonal, so the the other 15 million people trying to get into or out of the gas station couldn't it. He wasn't very welcoming -- I suggest he be let go of any further "welcoming" duties.
But I digress ... the hand dryer ... it's one of those new jet engines that blows the water, and first three layers of your skin off of your hands in under a minute. It actually pushed the skin around on my hands showing the outlines of veins and bone! The poor lady waiting for me to exit the restroom, just about wet herself, I'm afraid, while I stood in there and played.
That's just how exciting that drive was!
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